Friday, May 8, 2015

Happiness Pursuit: Destination Addiction Secrets

 The Pursuit of Happiness:  Beware of Destination Addiction

  First of all, your happiness is never guaranteed. Never was, and never will be.
 Even our founding fathers were smart enough to understand that too many people suffer from a condition known as "destination addiction" (DA), which is why you are only granted the right to pursue it.
 Having it, and keeping it, is entirely up to you.

 So what is "Destination Addiction"?
In the simplest terms, it means that you subscribe to the belief that your happiness, and I mean real happiness, lies just around the next corner. When you get the next job; when you meet the next short-term goal; when your divorce comes through; in the next prescription; or with the next new love affair.

 Notice in the last two examples that I have touched on the root cause that applies to nearly half of those affected by DA: Placing responsibility for their own happiness on someone else's shoulders, in this case the doctor who is happy to charge you for chasing the uncatchable, and the boyfriend or girlfriend who shouldn't be asked to bear an extra weight that is destined by design to fail.
 Sadly, the core fault that causes far too many divorces can also be traced back to a partner who simply refused to acknowledge the individual's responsibility of providing their own personal happiness. Naturally, they found over time that their life partner had neither the interest, nor the resources, to provide it for them.

  "Happiness Depends Upon Ourselves"

- Aristotle

So, are you ready for the simple truth?
 It's rather ironic, actually. The truth of personal happiness, this thing that so many people will spend an entire lifetime searching for but never find, while others seem to be born with it, is this:  You Had It All Along.

   You already have it, but environmental influences have trained you to ignore it and to start a lifelong quest to hunt for it. A rather expensive and personally exhaustive quest; but don't worry, there's a pill for that, too.

  You can call these influences society in general, peer pressure, commercialism, television advertising, specialized marketing (or Madison avenue, if that one actually applies anymore), retailers, or any of a hundred reasons (excuses?) that the AD victim can offer to define the path that led them to becoming hopelessly addicted to the BBD*.

*Sorry, this may be a bit "old school" for today's readers, but in my youth AD was called chasing ghosts and the destinations were referred to as the Bigger, Better Deal (or, the BBD as in "he's addicted to the BBD").  Kinda rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?

 The real reason that so many people seem to be born into their own happiness, regardless of personal wealth or societal standings, is because they fully grasp, at a young age, the concept of personal happiness being the individual's responsibility.
 You can credit this to good parenting if you like, and in many cases you would be right, but the truth is that some people just get it. It clicks for them, and no further explanation is required.
 Like water rolling off a duck's back, they just seem able to repel troubles and remain happy.

 I have seen this first hand over many years.  This rollercoaster of a life has found me homeless more than once, and one of the most valuable memories that have endured is of genuinely happy families that literally had nothing material to offer, but were willing to share none the less.
 In some cases all they had to offer was a hug. And in my case, at that time, it was enough.

 I have also known some extremely wealthy families, and found only one that I can recall who was really happy, but to be perfectly honest she was what most would call totally clueless.
  She was blissful, if you get my drift.
  It's easy to hide personal misery under new vehicles and a lot of alcohol, but a lack of personal fulfillment is one of those things that simply won't stay hidden for long. 
 Either you have it or you don't, but you definitely can't buy it. Many have tried, and all have failed.

 In case you missed the answer, here it is again:  BE.

  Stop chasing happiness. Just Be.  Yes: it really is that simple.  No one can sell it to you, though many are going to offer.
 Car dealers, drug manufacturers (and their licensed drug dealers, aka your local doctor), home builders, cosmetics retailers, and dozens of others who are staking millions on your ignorance will continue to promise to sell you some happy. Be smarter. Learn to see through the smoke & mirrors, and choose to be happy.

 Step off the treadmill, even for a minute, and try becoming less hamster and more human. A responsible human who is willing to accept full responsibility for the thoughts that are coming from your own mind.
 Because what you think, you become: Happiness included.

Whether you believe that you can, or you believe that you can't: You are never wrong.      ≈ JB

 Happiness is a gift that that you give to yourself. Happiness is a gift that cannot be taken away from you, though again, some are going to try. 
 In a society that is peppered with so many truly miserable people, seeing someone who appears to have found actual happiness has a way of plucking a lot of people's nerves. Even a few friends may even try to sabotage your apparent self-satisfaction, albeit unconsciously.
 Misery, after all, really does enjoy company. This too is just more smokescreen, so don't fall for it.

 Understand them and the motivations behind their negative actions, and you will manage to hold firmly to your newfound happiness as a sailor holds his compass through rough seas.
 Learn to be more present, to live in the NOW.  Let the past be, stop worrying about the future, and be right here, right now. Then, be happy. Right here, and right now.
 It has always been nothing more than a simple choice, so Choose Happy.  Get it? Got it? Good.

 ≈ namaste

2015   J.B. Stran     § Copyright

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